“No One Can Discover Anything About Their Future”

I am a believer in taking time to process situations, seasons, and many other things. I am spacey and a mess of thoughts but I know that the Lord uses me and works in me so that I can share it with those around me. Thus saying, Lent officially ended April 8 and it is now May 15 and I am now finally ready to write a little bit of my journey throughout those forty-six days!

I don’t usually share things from my journal with anyone (in fact my small group, thanks to our leader, Annie, have a pact that if any of us die in the shower (or die any way really) that one of the others will burn all the journals) but the following excerpt from my journal helps to describe a little of what those days held for me.

“The past 38 days have held many things. Laughter. Ends. Tears. New Beginnings. Promises. Chances, and a million more things.”

Tonight as I re-read my last blog post (http://aprilkirby.wordpress.com/2012/02/21/natural/) I could not help but to think how completely insane it is that we literally have no clue what-so-ever what any of our tomorrows actually look like. Sure we can dream, wish, or even try and orchestrate our future but in reality it is nothing more than a mystery. As I wrote the blog post about observing Lent I did not have the slightest clue about how the Lord was about to work in my life.

In the days I spent “naturally” observing lent the enemy reminded me of many insecurities but he Lord trumped him by reminding me of his power and sovereignty. On the days I felt most vulnerable and self conscience were the days I received the most compliments and the strongest quiet times. On the days when I was most tempted to pick up my make-up bag the Lord revealed to me how very unimportant my looks were in comparison to my heart and personality. Aside from a lot of reminding and daily surrender of my insecurities the Lord did some big things in my life:

• I found a roommate to live with in Nashville, the wonderful Molly
• I got a much needed job!
• I finally and completely came to terms with a past relationship that had held me back for quite awhile.
• I received enough scholarship and government aid to cover all but $7,500 of my $25,000 tuition.
• I made what was and is one of the most challenging decisions of my life, and joined a new church.
• I changed my majord permanently to Christian Ethics.
• I made it through 3 rounds of interview process for a sex-trafficking summer internship in California.

Those are just a few of things that the Lord and I conquered throughout my time of fasting. Though I was not selected for the internship and my transitional skills into a new major, church, and home aren’t the smoothest I am enjoying every minute of where the Lord has me and even though some days it absolutely kills me I am trusting the Lord and NOT my own plans, ways, and ideas. Again, I don’t usually do this but the last thing written in my journal in regards to Lent was:

“I am incredibly pumped for my future but I would be absolutely be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. But, I know that if God gave me all of these blessings then he will equip me for them”

Praise the Lord for the things that he has done and is continuing to do in my life. I have no clue what I am doing or what tomorrow is going to look like but clearly the Lord will provide if we let him.

“When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.” - Ecclesiastes 7:14

Natural

Recently God has blessed me beyond belief in a certain area of my life. This area is community. Community for a female college student, and even more so as a commuter, at least in my case, is something that is extremely hard to create and engage in. But God is faithful and as of about four weeks ago has blessed me with an amazing group of Godly women who are not only in the same stages of life as I am but who are also walking along side me as other Belmont students. This in and of itself was an answered prayer, and the way that we all fit together so well is nothing shy of amazing. God has already began great things within and because of our group and I know that he is no where near finished!

Tonight in our group we discussed the practice of lent and the meaning that stands behind it. Personally, I have never observed lent and before tonight my knowledge of the subject did not extend beyond “oh, lent is a form of fasting observed in Catholicism”. However, as of now I not only have a broader view of this subject but I have decided to partake in it for the first time ever. If you are like I was and do not really know what lent is here’s a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent (yeah, yeah I know… wikipedia, but this entry is valid, promise!)

Tonight our community group decided that we are all going to study the same passages and articles for our quiet time over the next forty-six days! In addition I am also going to give up something that is currently part of my daily life. Before I reveal what exactly that is, let me give you a quick back story). Immediately after Annie read and explained the meaning of lent I thought “it would be cool if SOMEONE gave up make-up and hair straightening/ curling”… as I am pondering that thought silently, one of the other girls in my group, Hannah, explained how in high school her and her best friend gave up wearing make-up and straightening their hair… In the wise words of one of my best friends and mentor, Helen, “it’s not odd, it’s God”, needless to say as soon as Hannah shared that with the group my immediate thought was “CRAPPPPP! That’s what God wants me to give up”. After spending just a few minutes in a conversation with the Lord he made clear all of the reasons why exactly he wanted me to give up make-up and my lovely CHI.

1. I am so not a morning person. No matter how hard I try or how far away I set my alarm clock from my bed I inevitably end up hitting the snooze button and over-sleeping, and no matter how early I get up I end up spilling my coffee, losing my shoe, forgetting my keys, and speeding on the interstate. Thus saying, I am very much a “late night quiet time” kind of lady, but for whatever reason I have always desired to be one of the believers who starts off their day with a quiet time but it just never seems to work out for me. If I give up doing my make-up and spending time damaging my hair with my hot iron then that leaves a ton of time for me to get in the word in the morning instead of just at night!

2. I pound into my middle school girls and other young girls who I have a realm of influence over that they are beautiful not because of what they look like but because our Savior and Creator of the universe designed them. I am a firm believe in inner-beauty but I would be lying if I said that I never fall into the age old question of feminine nature: “do I look ok?” “does my make-up still look fresh?” “is my hair messed up?”.

3. My confidence should not be superficial. I should not be concerned with whether or not the cute baristo thinks I’m equally as cute because of my perfectly straight hair that I spent too much time on or whether or not my make-up looks as fun and pretty as that girl across from me in the library. Instead I should focus that time on telling my God that he is all mighty and all powerful. That he creates beautiful things, myself included, and re-teaching myself that beauty is not what meets the eye. Beauty is in my character, in my personality, in my attitude, and in my heart.

I am not sure of how the Lord will use this fast of make-up and hot irons but I know that he will use them and use them well. So here’s to 40 days of all nach-uh-relllll (natural)! My make-up bag and CHI can be found buried in a drawer in my roommates room!

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

Psalm 139:14

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

^{Proverb 31}

^10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate

KNEEL.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. – Ephesians 3:14-21

Lately I have found myself engaging in a type of prayer that before this summer was not even in my vocabulary. If you keep up with my extremely scatterbrained blog or know me well you know that a certain portuguese girl has a huge piece of my heart! This summer I was sitting in Glebba-B (the favela, that Jacqueline lives in) during a worship service and I felt a strong urge to lift Jacqueline and her family up in prayer, this act in and of its’ self was not foreign but after a few minutes of prayer God was telling me to take a step further and pray on my knees. My first reaction was what?! I have never done that before and I am one of two Americans in this whole service that will cause an inordinate amount of attention to myself, so after a few minutes of wrestling with the spirit I ducted outside and the next thing I knew I was on my knees in a favela church restroom lifting up a very broken young girl and her family. Since that day I have found myself in my closet kneeling beside my clothes hamper lifting up certain people, situations, things, etc. to the Lord. Every time I have prayed in this manner I have acquired a huge amount of peace and closeness with our creator. At first I was unsure why God asked me to come to him in prayer on my knees but now I look at it as a chance to praise God in a refreshing and humbling way- off the top of my head three different things happen more or less in this position. Babies first learn to crawl before they can walk: babies are an incredibly sensitive creation that needs constant attention, care, comfort, guidance, and love from their caregivers- are we any different? Beggars often times cry out from their knees for whatever it is that they  need- when we pray do we not often times cry out for our needs? The traditional proposal is done by a man kneeling on one knee to ask for his future wife’s hand in marriage, this state is one of great vulnerability and displays the uniting of two hearts in love  thus painting a beautiful picture of Christ the bride-groom opening up himself to us, the bride of Christ.  My hope in sharing this with you is that you will not be like me and neglect this opportunity to praise and pray to our Father in a way that not only humbles us but brings us closer to our maker as well! The whole concept is still incredibly new to me but I feel as though I needed to share this experience and encourage others who may be very much like myself and are completely uneasy about the idea of occasionally or daily kneeling to prayer.

“Beauty Will Rise”

This morning I woke up to an extremely heartbreaking text message… Favela Moinho, a favella that I have spent many days inside playing with beautiful children who by God’s mercy alone can still find happiness inside of themselves to laugh and to play despite their brokenness and despair, burnt down. This morning thousands of people who barely had anything to call their own lost everything: clothes, food, homes, and lives. The only part of this story that gives me any hope is the the fact that A.M.O (the ministry in Brazil that partners with my church) has been pouring themselves into this ministry for several years. This favela is the only one that ever made me uncomfortable, in fact one many occasions it was said to be “hell without the flames”, this favela, more than others, was FULL of drugs, poverty, adultery, prostitution, despair, sickness, etc. Every time I caught myself questioning my presence there I remembered that these people were in desperate need of the Father and if I was not willing to provide this then I had to assume that no one else was either. This past summer when I was serving in Brazil I noticed that we were focusing much more heavily on favela Moinho then any other year I had been and today God revealed the reason why. Beauty will rise from this destruction. Though many were lost, some were saved. A.M.O has done any amazing job of growing in fellowship with the inhabitants of Moinho this is going to be a great blessing in the days to come, they will be able to provide aid and hope to the survivors in a personal and religious way. I do not know nor understand the will of God but I do know that he has a hand in everything that occurs and that he is beyond capable of rising up beauty from these ashes. Please, please, please, be in prayer over these beautiful people they need YOU desperately. I cannot stop thinking of this sweet little boy who begged me over and over again to spin him in circles, for hours we spun and laughed and threw frisbee, it destroys me to know that that precious little boy lost everything if not his life this morning as I was waking up in the safety of my apartment. We are so richly blessed and I so often take that for granted. Please join me in prayer over  Favela Moinho !

“Beauty Will Rise”- Steven Curtis Chapman

Prayers Please

There has been a lot going on around here lately which is both good and bad. Good because that means rooms for growth and development but bad because in order to get there suffering and pain are a large part of the process. Jessica, Jacqueline’s sister, is still standing firm in her decision of wanting to come and live here on the property! This is an incredible opportunity for her however it’s not exactly an easy process. First there is the matters of the state and all the legal processes that entails but there is also the problem of while Pete and Jodi are incredible people who are going above and beyond what most people are capable of, they are not invincible and taking on more children would do more harm than good. On the flip side of this Jacqueline is staying with a single mom of 5 children who has multiple boyfriends and her own children running away from home frequently. We found out yesterday that Jacqueline is running around the streets at night and going to lots of parties… so needless to say she has not parted with her old ways. While the death of Marly, Jacqueline and Jessica’s mother, was an eye-opening experience for Jessica it didn’t have the same effect on Jacqueline. Some of you have been asking how you can pray for the girls and I asked Pete the same question and for now prayer for Jessica in terms of God allowing doors to be open for more people to join the A.M.O team to aid in the upbringing of her and more children like her, as well as financial support in terms of providing for their daily needs. For Jacqueline pray that God will some how get her attention and allow all the doors Satan has opened to be shut and more doors be opened so that she can change her life and gain a future.

Also, Pete received a phone call early this morning that Marcella (14), Karol (17), Filipe (19), and Diego’s(21) (these are all “kids” who live here on the property) uncle was in a bad motorcycle accident  two days ago and he passed away this morning,. So please be in prayer for their family, they have experienced a lot of loss.

And also selfishlessly I ask you to pray for Callie and I and the things God has and is revealing to us and the plans that he has for our futures! Thank you so much for everything you are doing! Love and miss you all : )

 

 

Oi from Brazil : )

Oi (Hello) from Brazil! My trip has been incredible! I’ve grown a lot both spiritually and physically (this Brazil food will get to ya) : ) God has shown and reminded me of a lot of things. One of the best things he’s shown me is how important relationships are to me and the passion I have for people. I began building relationships here in Brazil in the spring of 2009 and was blessed to continue them last summer and blessed even more to spend a longer period of time with all of the incredible people this summer! The kids have grown up so much and the ministry here in unstoppable. A.M.O and the people here in Brazil have changed my life and my heart in a number of ways I am so thankful for them and the person they have helped make me!

Jacqueline- Callie, Anderson, Pete, and I went to Marly, her mom’s, funeral yesterday. Brazilian funerals are very diffrernt from ours to say the least. I am so glad that I could be there for the girls (Jacqueline and Jessica) during this time. There were multiple dates that I could have came to Brazil but God had this in his plan. Who will take care of the girls is still being decided so please continue to keep them in your prayers!

Claudio- Is back with his mom for now, however, the city tore down his mom’s house two nights ago because it was an “invasion of land” so they are currently staying somewhere else with their mom at night and hanging out in Glebba-B during the day. This family is very special to me and I hate to see them struggling, but as always I know God will do big things through all of this destruction!

God has already done so much during my stay here and I can’t wait to see what he does over the next two weeks! I love all of you and wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you! Tchau (Bye)!

 

Brazil July 27, 2011 11:47 a.m.

I apologize for the lack of blogging but Internet here is touch and go. I also apologize for the circumstances my first blog from Brazil is written in. I’m not sure when this will be posted but I’m typing it on July 27 at 11:47a.m. I woke up this morning to some pretty heartbreaking news. Jacqueline, for those of you who don’t know she completely stole my heart the first time I came here and I have made it my responsibility to be her prayer warrior, she comes from a reapply broken home and has some unthinkable habits for a 12 year old girl. This morning I found out that in the middle of the night her mom passed away. As if that’s not bad enough she doesn’t have a father or an relatives so at this point we have no idea what will happen to her and her older sister Jessica. Shorty after I heard the news of Marly, Jacqueline’s mom, Pete told us that Claudio, another little boy who along with his brothers have a huge piece of my heart has run away yet again. His mom has lots of boyfriends who abuse the children and Claudio who is only 10 has a new found habit of running away and honestly who can blame him? He has been picked up by child services on multiple occasions so last week Pete decided that it would be good for Claudio to spend a few days with all of us here at the Shakura. Needless to say Callie and I along with the rest of the AMO team loved having him around. We were sad to take him back to his house or lack there of but we had to. That same night we took him home he ran away and as of now his where-abouts are in question. During are devotion time Anderson received a phone call that his brother is in trouble with the law again. So I would just ask for you to please be in prayer over all of these things. Today and all of it’s happening have the potential to tear us down, make us angry and resentful, and question are faith but they also have the ability to have a positive effect in the long run if we let them, glorify God, and strengthen our faith. Today has already been heartbreaking and emotionally draining but as always God has an amazing and intricate plan that is far bigger than we can ever imagine. Thank you for all of your support and prayer, I love and miss you all!

And so the Journey Begins!

Oi! I am currently in Dallas awaiting the last leg of traveling to Brazil! I am beyond pumped to get there an serve with the A.M.O team! However, I want to spend this blog post talking about what God has done over the last two weeks. As most of you know Lifepoint held their student church camps over the last two weeks! The first week God gave me the opportunity to serve as a leader to an AMAZING group of upcoming junior girls and the second week I was blessed with an incredibly sweet group of upcoming seventh grade girls! I’m not sure who was impacted more, the leaders or the students! I think I speak for everyone that was involved in camp when I say that God did some INCREDIBLE things. We witnessed the Lord break hearts by his conviction and re-make them with his grace and love. We also saw many first time believers come to know the Lord as well as multiple re-commitments. The last two weeks were amazing and I can’t wait to see what God has in store of me and the rest of the team over the next week and how he will use Callie and I over the next month! Thank you for all of the encouraging words and prayers! I will try and blog again as soon as possible!

Haiti Mission Trip Video!

Haiti Mission Trip Spring Break 2011

Here is a short video of my mission trip to Haiti this Spring!

Can’t believe that I forgot to post a copy to my blog!

My Lame Attempt at a Miniature Online Store… You Can Now Purchase Online : )

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